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- Wendy and Steve Thomas are long-time DINKs (meaning they both work and have no children).
- They weren’t necessarily aiming to be DINKs, but it’s a lifestyle that worked.
- They aim to retire early and continue traveling and pursuing hobbies.
Wendy and Steve Thomas didn’t necessarily intend to become DINKs, but it’s a lifestyle that has worked out well for them.
Wendy Thomas, 55, and Steve Thomas, 51, are a California-based couple who are part of a growing number of Americans living in DINKS (dual income households without children).
They have been married for almost 20 years and have developed a strong social network of fellow DINKs.They started a DINK club their former neighborhood and count There are at least 12 DINK couples among my close friends.
Steve Thomas, who works in the golf maintenance industry, says this is a lifestyle they have “fallen into.” When they first got married, they were open to having children and wanted to have children, but they ended up not being able to have children.
“I think we started to see some of the benefits pretty quickly,” Steve Thomas said, adding, “In particular, we quickly saw the financial perks of being able to both work and save.”
The financial perks of being a DINK help him travel and lead a “very active and very fun” life.
“The cost of living in Southern California is very high,” Steve Thomas said. “Being able to live a comfortable lifestyle here with both of us working is a big deal.”
Former interior designer Wendy Thomas retired at age 55. He’s been into pickleball lately.
“It’s a whole new community that I’ve found and I’m really enjoying meeting new people,” she said. She also loves photography, cooking, and spending time outdoors in her native California.
“Going to the Sequoias and just hanging out along the coast is really great and it’s a big part of our lives and our friendships,” Wendy Thomas said. “I’m really lucky to live where we live because I have a lot of people I know who like to go on road trips with.”
For Wendy and Steve, being a DINK means having the time and resources to do the things they care about. And they aren’t alone. More women between the ages of 40 and 44 are choosing not to have children. As of 2018, more than 1 in 7 American women in that age group were childless, compared to 1 in 10 in 1976, according to the report. US Census Bureau. And as of 2018, 16.5% of Americans age 55 and older had no children.
As the cost of raising a child continues to rise, DINK hood and the financial security it provides may become even more appealing. Parents of Gen Z and Millennials I previously told BI A lack of policy and economic constraints have left them financially strapped, isolated and struggling to make ends meet. As the number of Gen Z and Millennials increases To tell They say starting a family while living paycheck to paycheck is becoming increasingly difficult or even impossible. This may be the beginning of the DINK era.
meanwhile, DINKs are doing well financially. The median net worth of married couples without children is $399,000. Federal Reserve Survey of Consumer Finances; this is far superior to any other family structure.
privilege of time
Wendy Thomas saw first-hand the reality of parenthood and the time it takes, working as a teacher of younger children for several years and witnessing the stress and life changes of new parents.
Suddenly, a new parent’s time is taken up by their children, and her conversation reveals how “no one really prepares you for the length of time” and how hard it is. You can see if it is.
“It was eye-opening in a way when I started seeing what actually happens, the contrast between reality and fairy tales,” she said. When you are young and thinking about marriage, you are presented with an almost “fairy tale situation” of what life will be like.
“But parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart. It’s something you have to take seriously. And if it’s not something you can handle 100% mentally, I’d say… “I say, ‘It’s not required,'” she said.
Not having kids also means more flexibility. If a friend sends you a last-minute invitation to an interesting event, you can go right away. If you want to move and explore new areas, you can do that. Steve Thomas said he was able to travel for more than a month last year. That may not be possible for people with children.
At their current age, couples are seeing more friends become empty nesters and readjust their lives and relationships. Wendy Thomas said that for those couples, it’s almost like “starting over.”
“I’m not saying that parents with children can’t have long, happy, healthy marriages or that DINKs don’t get divorced,” Steve Thomas said. “All those things happen, but it means a lot to us to be alive.”
And while it can cause a lot of questions from strangers, the couple isn’t actively converting the DINK lifestyle. While some occasionally tell us they’re missing out on something or express fear of future loneliness, many praise their financial choices.
“We both have a goal in mind of retiring relatively early, so we can really enjoy life and travel without having to ‘work to live, live to work.’ I can. It’s all about balance,” Steve Thomas said, adding, “That’s always been one of the perks of what we do.”
Are you a lifestyle-loving DINK or aspiring to be one? Contact this reporter at: jkaplan@insider.com.
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