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My building had problems with the elevator. The management company sent a memo to everyone stating:
Please note that we are experiencing intermittent issues with the elevator. Your safety is our top priority and we are taking immediate steps to address the situation.
After a thorough investigation by our electrician, it was determined that there may be a low voltage issue affecting the elevator’s performance. The electrician has reported this issue directly to Con Edison and is working with them to quickly correct the situation. Con Edison won’t be able to address this issue until next week.
The elevator will be unavailable until this issue is resolved.
We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may cause if elevator operation is disrupted. Your safety is our top priority and we assure you that we will take all necessary steps to resolve this issue as soon as possible.
We appreciate your understanding and cooperation.
I asked ChatGPT to rewrite it for humans. It responded as follows:
We are fixing an intermittent elevator issue to ensure your safety.
Our electrician discovered a potential low voltage issue affecting the elevator. They have notified Con Edison and are working with them toward a swift resolution. However, Con Edison can only begin repairs next week.
For your safety, the elevator will be closed until the service is restored.
We apologize for any inconvenience caused by this matter, and we will work to resolve it as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
I took it a step further.
You probably noticed that the elevator was broken. The electrician says he is working with ConEd, but it is not expected to be fixed until next week.
We apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your patience.
People don’t write like bureaucrats because it’s easy or fun. They do so because of the mistaken belief that it will free them from danger.
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